Monday, June 14, 2004

The procedure went surprisingly well. And I did sleep a lot. Anybody that knows me knows that for a few years the facial pain prevented me from laying down- I had to sleep sitting up. Once you get used to that you can sleep in any position. The Valium enhanced my sleeping abilities, as if I needed the help.

The halo was held in the back by two bolts pressing very hard against my skull. Sitting in the waiting room I was still able to lean back against the wall and sleep. Yes, I was given shots to numb the areas around the bolts, but it was really weird to lean back and feel the bolts. Not that it mattered, I slept. During the procedure, I slept. I cannot help but think that two Valium is one two much.

I also wonder why people even want it. Nothing happened while I was under the affects of Valium that made me think, “Whoa, I’ve got to do this again!” Maybe it works differently for other people, I dunno. My gut feeling is that I just don’t have what it takes to be a drug addict.

The procedure itself was nothing dramatic. I lay down on a table and my halo was locked into place. From the neck down I could have done a horizontal hula, but the head wasn’t going to move a millimeter until it was over. All the medical people left the room and then a device that looked like a gray-colored plate went back and forth over my head. Back and forth, back and forth, you are beginning to get sleepy, very sleepy. You have already slept half the day away but you will still take another nap. Nobody said they needed me conscious.

When it was done the Super Wife walked me to our car parked at the curb right outside the radiology unit. We had parked on the ramp, so I was confused. She explained that she’d found out radiology patients could get a sign that would let them park there. Cool.

This is being posted too long after the surgery I know, I happen to be doing it now because I was doing so well I started to cut back on the medications I was taking. It seemed like a good idea. Today the nerve let me know it wasn’t ready for it.

I took two pills in church, like always, to be ready for lunch, just in case. But apparently my Tegretol level has dropped too far for that to work. It must have taken at least 20 minutes to eat a hamburger. It was not fun. It was too much like old times.

I’ve been taking more meds today, but it’s not working yet. I’m typing this at 4:30 a.m. because around 3:00 a.m. it gave me a slap that was nasty enough to wake me up and bring back the fear. I took some more pills and hopefully I can still get some sleep. God I hate this, just when I thought it was over it slams me again.
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