We went back to visit cousins. Trainboy was so excited about his Super Chief he brought it along. Are you sure? Things break. He’s sure, he puts it in a soft case to bring it.

After our visit he tells me the coupler was broken. Along with his heart. He was kind of fearful when he told me. I don’t understand that. I can’t remember ever yelling or being mean to him. But maybe I have, I don't know. His fear hurts me more than his broken train could. I have to watch myself, coming to me for help should be easy.

It’s a plastic coupler. I have model glue. A little glue, a little time, and I can still fix anything. One of these days he’ll come up with something I can’t fix, but until then I’m doing pretty good.

-SantaFe Warbonnet

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Trainboy’s Hogwart’s Express electric train didn’t last long. A rod that connected some wheels broke. It was probably a mistake getting him a steam train, they’re too delicate for a six year-old. So there he sat with track and no train. What to do, what to do?

I bought him another train. He likes the Santa Fe Super Chief, so that’s what he got. The headlight/cab light works too. Kids always like getting something in the mail, it’s like Christmas for them. I ordered it over the web, figuring he’d get a surprise in the mail. We can get additional cars, like a caboose, at the local hobby shop. He’s a happy Trainboy.

He asked me to guess what his favorite Monkee song was. Think, think, think. He bounces up and down to ‘I’m a Believer.’ ‘I’m a Believer?’ “No, ‘Last Train to Clarksville.’” Slap my head, well duh, ‘Trainboy’ and ‘Last TRAIN to Clarksville.’

Parents do not have all the answers. But it can be very helpful it the kids think we do.



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We ate, then went to the library. The wife had a load of books and videos to return. While she did her returns and got her reserves I was checking out the new non-fiction and saw a book that looked possible. Flip, check it out, flip, maybe not- couldn’t make up my mind.

Eventually Ms. Pikachu came over and said, “Dad, Mom’s ready.” Uh huh, I’ll believe it when I see it. “Dad, poke, Mom’s ready. Poke. Poke.” She poked me as she said “poke.” It was funny. She knows how to get laughs.
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We watched ‘Roman Holiday,’ with Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn. It’s wholesome, it’s fun. One of the girls who live next door came over and watched it. Everybody loves it. It’s a movie that can be watched more than once.

We’ve also recently watched “Harvey” with Jimmy Stewart. The wife has been checking out a lot of Gregory Peck and Jimmy Stewart films lately. They’re all terrific.

It’s always a temptation to say they don’t make ‘em like they used to. Technically that’s certainly correct because they’ve all been black and white. But they’ve all been so good they’re timeless- 50 year-old films and they still entertain adults and kids.

I’d always liked Jimmy Stewart. He was wonderful in ‘Harvey’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ He flew B-17’s in Europe during WW2. He walked the walk, you couldn’t help but enjoy him for his films and admire him for his service.

I’d always liked Gregory Peck for ‘12 O’clock High.’ Seeing him in ‘Roman Holiday’ and ‘The Yearling’ I like him even more. Better late than never, I guess.

It would be tempting to say they were irreplaceable, but no one ever is. For example, Tom Hanks has done some amazing stuff. Just for fun there was ‘Big’ and ‘That Thing You Do.’ Nope, nobody is irreplaceable, but the loss is still a loss. The more of their movies I see the greater the loss becomes though. And when I snuggle with the wife and watch a movie a kiss is still a kiss. When I laugh with the kids a smile is still a smile.

Harvey
Big
ThatThingYouDo

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Well this isn't fun.
Saddam’s two kids are reported to have been killed in a gunfight. The 101st, cornered them in a house with two accomplices after being led there by a soon to be rich informant. The shootout lasted six hours, and apparently ended with a missile through the roof. Sorry, but I don’t get this. The butt-kicking 101st held off for six hours by four guys in a house? In Vegas the oddsmakers would probably have given them five to ten minutes tops.

I hope this isn’t a sign of a kinder, gentler army but it may be. Considering the Army is on a feel-good campaign we may not be getting warriors in olive drab. For example- the black beret had always been the headgear of the Rangers, an elite outfit. The black beret was made General Issue for morale purposes. What once symbolized excellence is now nothing more than a tool to make the troops feel cool, and maybe get a few recruits who want to impress the chicks.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that unit élan doesn’t come from handing out berets, it comes from training them to the point they know they’re special. It comes from shared adversity. Current training is a joke.

Instead of hardcore troops we’re getting soldiers who have undergone self-esteem classes but can’t shoot straight (you may not have heard of it, but it’s an Army scandal). If they trained them to a razor’s edge the self-esteem would take care of itself. In a firefight self-esteem classes don’t keep you alive, good training does, and that starts with being able to shoot straight.

The Army’s current promotion doesn’t make sense either- An Army of One. What kind of crap is that? An Army of One is fine if you’re Stallone playing Rambo, but in reality what keeps you alive is your buddies. The Army plays with real bullets; they should not be playing Hollywood.

I can almost here the war movie- the grizzled old sergeant yells, “Reynolds, take your Army of One and go check the left flank.” Reynolds is shaking in his boots because even though he aced self-esteem class and made corporal he knows he was pencil-whipped on the shooting range. He says truthfully, “Sarge, this Army of One isn’t big enough to do it by itself.” The sergeant grimaces and says, “Alright, take the Kowalski Army and the Preston Army with you.”

That wasn’t worth the effort to write or read, but I didn’t delete it anyway.

Part of the problem is that the military is seen as a refuge for hawks and terminal losers. That shouldn’t be the case, especially after 9/11. Remember 9/11? For months afterwards there was a groundswell of patriotic fervor. Everybody had a flag, or two, on their car. Those A-rabs weren’t going to beat us, uh uh, we were flying flags. Ever day the streets looked like another parade. Did anybody actually do anything? Besides kicking the crap out of Iraq and offending the Germans and French? Did military enlistments go up? No. The military is still struggling to get people and keep them.

Having an all-volunteer Army is a nice idea. But just to get some of the best and brightest in to play, and let everybody have some sense of civic duty and awareness of what is at stake, maybe everybody should serve two years. The military would have the luxury of discharging the unfit. It would be good for the health of the country, and just think of the money to be saved on the ad campaigns.
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I wrote this in reply to someone who thinks the war in Iraq is so wrong. I need a post so here it is.

I think butterflies are free, and if they come back then they're really yours, if they don't they never were.

And I think you should make love, not war, but that's hard when you're being run through a shredder machine.

And I think war is harmful for children and other living things, but if the kids are left in prison, they'll just have to roll with the punches.

I think this is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but it's hard to tell that when you're strapped down and attached to electrodes.

I think it takes a village to raise a child (to quote Hillary Marx), but that's hard when they're dropping chemicals on your village.

I think you should question all authority especially when it tortures and fills mass graves.

I think you should expand your mind, but that's hard when it's in a vise.

I think you should think outside the box, especially when you're chained to the inside.

I think you should free your mind when you're in shackles.

I think the Iraqi people are happy to be free just so they can sell their oil.

I think "power to the people" but Iraqi democracy may not survive hanging chads.

I think the Iraqi police needed a better PR firm. Because if it feels good, do it, and they did it. Maybe they were just trying to go with the (blood) flow. When it is all said and done, it was just about sex and violence, and those always sell.

I think when in Rome, do as the Romans do. But when in Iraq don't get on the raq.

I think de' nial is not a river in Egypt, but Iraqi war protesters float their boats there.

I think you can't trust anyone over thirty, except me.


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The other day I was driving along when up ahead was a squirrel in the middle of the road. “Run little squirrel, run” I thought. Almost by ESP, or some other cosmic link, it ran for the side of the road. Safe. But only for a moment, for it suddenly executed one of those mid-air turns with change of direction only the desperate dwellers at the bottom of the food chain can do, and it ran back out into the street.

Squirrels apparently have a memory limited by the size of their skull. Or maybe their twitchy tails are a sign of ADHD and they don’t care where they’re going, they just want to go. The only other explanation is rather dark and would seem to violate the natural order of things.

Squirrels have suicidal tendencies. They're natural recruits for Hezbollah. I've hit a few myself, squirrels I mean, and never like it. You always flinch when you feel the thud of something under your tires, as long as it's not wearing a robe and explosives. At least they rarely cause damage, and they do feed the bottom of the food chain. Being at the top of the chain it will go through a few filterings before we get to it.

The worst thing I've ever hit was a deer; everyone in my family has hit one. The deer took out the hood and some headlights. It ran away- should have hit it harder and at least gotten some meat out of it. (Testosterone rush.) Why yes, I am feeling manly at the moment.

Squirrels are a reminder that Darwin isn't always right. Massive breeding can outdo Darwin's laws. Come on guys give it a try, do it for posterity, you have to believe your uber-DNA is worth it. The hard part will be convincing the wimmin.

Maybe all those senseless rodent deaths just mean we need a new social/entitlement program to move them to the country. Give them a job and housing. The mascot could be a little squirrel with a tear running down its cheek, a PETA badge on his shoulder, a bleeding heart on his chest, and a DNC patch on his hat.

I'm crying already, where can I send my contribution, or does that come out of my paycheck?

Oddly enough, on my way home tonight I ran over a skunk. Actually, the car ran over it, but you knew that, a smart one you are.

I ran over the skunk and it stunk so badly, all the way home. Forty-five minutes to home. The kids were already sleeping so they didn't notice. But sleep isn't a good option when you're driving, so I drove, and smelled. My nose I mean, but you knew that, like a whip you are.

Eventually I thought wow, that stink doesn't go away, its strong and relentless, that’s kind of manly actually. And as I thought of it that way it became less and less offensive, it became skunk musk. Women may be strong enough for Irish Spring, but even a woman on steroids can't handle Skunk Musk.

Knowing the wife would never share my enthusiasm for my new air freshener I stopped at a car wash and tried to wand it out. That's right, tried to; it still stinks, just not as badly.

It also occurred to me that my attitude change might give a little understanding as to why people have trouble training their dogs. The dog craps, the owner rubs its face in it. The dog sniffs, his eyes go wide, his ears perk up and he thinks, "Hey, that's good! Since you like it I can make some more. Bring on the Kibble and I'll doo-doo this place right."
Female dogs are easier to train.

It's a theory anyway.


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