Here’s additional proof that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Today the Superwife got a call from the school to come get Trainboy. So away she went with an appropriate amount of motherly concern. When she got there she was told that he’d picked something up off the floor and stuck it in his ear.
Taking a look in his ear she could see that there was definitely something black in it. This agreed with the teacher’s own observations. But what was it? Sometimes confession is good for the soul, sometimes there’s no alternative. The Supermom would not offer any alternatives.
Well…. he’d picked up a little rubber band and stuck it in his ear. It is to laugh and might I explain why with a little story about the little apple’s tree?
When I was about the same age, needless to say, something similar happened. I’ve been told by those who claim to love me I developed an intolerable stink, not that I ever noticed.
Consultation with medical professionals who received said payment for their services resulted in the removal of a perfectly fine set of tonsils… maybe. Regardless, it did not solve the problem. However, I did get all the ice cream I could eat.
Having run out of alternatives Dad took me to ‘Old Doc Rolfs.’ Apparently ‘Old Doc Rolfs’ continued to see a few patients after essentially retiring from his frontier days practice. I can’t say that I remember a thing about him. But I do remember him sticking something akin to pliers up my nose and pulling out a barely recognizable piece of paper. And then I remembered.
I had been talking on the phone with somebody at Grandma’s when I noticed a sheet of paper on the counter. I ripped off an edge, rolled it a little ball and thought, “Wouldn’t it be neat if you could stick it up your nose and shoot it like a cannon?” So I stuck it up my nose, was distracted, again, and forgot about it. But it all came back with that little piece of paper clenched in the jaws of the pliers. Oh that’s right, I shoved that up there.
Not that I was admitting to anything. Nope, had no idea how it happened. For all I knew I’d been victimized by a marauding tooth fairy, or one of my brothers or… yeah, that works. That’s good for a giggle, but in all honestly, I just shrugged my shoulders. Dad was grateful to have the problem solved, so was everyone else. Back to Trainboy.
Super Nurse could see a black thing in his ear, and it was pretty deep. She did not feel she could go in after it. To the doctor, who observed it was snug against the ear drum and said, “This really needs to go to an ear, nose throat specialist.” It must have been a small rubber band; he balled it up, stuck it in his ear, and when it sprang back open it made a perfect gasket for his ear drum. There you have it Handy Boy.
Super Mom made an appointment with the specialist. Stay tuned. For Trainboy the upside could be time out of school, except he LIKES school. He won’t get all the ice cream he can eat, not without a doctor’s order. What he will get is a lesson on not sticking things where they don’t belong and some memories to tell his own kids someday.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
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Thursday, March 11, 2004
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
03/09/04
The Superwife had her last Deaconess meeting tonight so it was just the kids and me. Trainboy had earlier found a wood bulldozer kit I’d gotten for him. It says ‘Tonka’ on it and that’s always popular with the Boy Builder.
I thought it would be an opportunity for one of those father/son bonding ‘things.’ Hardly. He’s six and he wanted to do it himself. Earlier than I ever thought would happen I found myself just lending moral support.
He got the bags out of the box and sorted the pieces by size and shape first, just like I’ve shown him. Since he can’t read much yet I determined which screws were intended for the different letters in the diagram. I wrote each letter on a piece of paper and set each bag of screws in front of the appropriate letter.
The Boy Builder grabbed his screwdriver and the “constructions” and went to work. He would count the number of screws in a diagram, get them out of the bag, and put them between a couple of wood pieces so they couldn’t roll away. I was impressed. He was doing fine until he couldn’t get two screws in because the holes didn’t line up. I showed him how loosening up the other two screws on the piece would give him enough play to get the fit. You could almost see the light turn on. That was the extent of my help.
When he was done I showed him how the box said it was for 8+. Being six he was quite please with himself. Eventually the Holy Wife returned home. He showed her his new bulldozer, “I made by myself.” Then he proudly showed her how the box said it was for 8+. The Super Mom was appropriately impressed and he was very proud of himself. It was one of those moments parents live for.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
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The Superwife had her last Deaconess meeting tonight so it was just the kids and me. Trainboy had earlier found a wood bulldozer kit I’d gotten for him. It says ‘Tonka’ on it and that’s always popular with the Boy Builder.
I thought it would be an opportunity for one of those father/son bonding ‘things.’ Hardly. He’s six and he wanted to do it himself. Earlier than I ever thought would happen I found myself just lending moral support.
He got the bags out of the box and sorted the pieces by size and shape first, just like I’ve shown him. Since he can’t read much yet I determined which screws were intended for the different letters in the diagram. I wrote each letter on a piece of paper and set each bag of screws in front of the appropriate letter.
The Boy Builder grabbed his screwdriver and the “constructions” and went to work. He would count the number of screws in a diagram, get them out of the bag, and put them between a couple of wood pieces so they couldn’t roll away. I was impressed. He was doing fine until he couldn’t get two screws in because the holes didn’t line up. I showed him how loosening up the other two screws on the piece would give him enough play to get the fit. You could almost see the light turn on. That was the extent of my help.
When he was done I showed him how the box said it was for 8+. Being six he was quite please with himself. Eventually the Holy Wife returned home. He showed her his new bulldozer, “I made by myself.” Then he proudly showed her how the box said it was for 8+. The Super Mom was appropriately impressed and he was very proud of himself. It was one of those moments parents live for.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
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http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
3/8/04
I thought the pills were working well, but my face was so sensitive I could hardly eat. So it was more pills, eating slowly, then fell asleep. Wasted days and wasted nights. It’s a sad thing when your life resembles a country/western tune. Not that I have anything against country/western, I'm just more of an oldies rock kind of guy. Remind me to blog about that later.
Falling asleep early makes me wake up in the middle of the night. So here’s your entry, in fact there are also three new ones below this one because this is the fourth I’ve done tonight. It is now time to irritate the Superwife with my Supersnoring.
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
3/8/04
I thought the pills were working well, but my face was so sensitive I could hardly eat. So it was more pills, eating slowly, then fell asleep. Wasted days and wasted nights. It’s a sad thing when your life resembles a country/western tune. Not that I have anything against country/western, I'm just more of an oldies rock kind of guy. Remind me to blog about that later.
Falling asleep early makes me wake up in the middle of the night. So here’s your entry, in fact there are also three new ones below this one because this is the fourth I’ve done tonight. It is now time to irritate the Superwife with my Supersnoring.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
Okay, I have to do at least two to make any headway.
3/6/04
We visited my brother. He lives in a small Iowa town where, naturally, they pride themselves on being nice. When we were leaving a side window of the car blew out. We were the victims of idyllic vandalism. The cop that came said it was the third case that evening.
It wouldn’t have been nice under any condition, but it was raining. It just took two trash bags and some duct-tape and we were ready to go. Duct-tape even sticks in water, it’s amazing stuff. It held together just fine on the way back, it was just noisy.
If the insurance company has a s—t list I’m probably on it. Regardless, the window gets fixed Wednesday. They even come to the house to do it. Is that service or what?
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Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
Okay, I have to do at least two to make any headway.
3/6/04
We visited my brother. He lives in a small Iowa town where, naturally, they pride themselves on being nice. When we were leaving a side window of the car blew out. We were the victims of idyllic vandalism. The cop that came said it was the third case that evening.
It wouldn’t have been nice under any condition, but it was raining. It just took two trash bags and some duct-tape and we were ready to go. Duct-tape even sticks in water, it’s amazing stuff. It held together just fine on the way back, it was just noisy.
If the insurance company has a s—t list I’m probably on it. Regardless, the window gets fixed Wednesday. They even come to the house to do it. Is that service or what?
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http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
3/704
Went to church then had to decide where to eat. You wouldn?t think that would be that big of a deal but it was. Usually we eat at Hy-Vee and that was Ms. Pikachu's choice. Trainboy wanted a change. Trainboy wanted Arby's. Eventually we settled on a little Italian place where both kids would be content to suck noodles. But I forgot.
Rewinding to church. The Holywife looked fantastic. She wore a black suit with a white blouse. I couldn't help but notice another woman who always dresses very nicely looking at the Superwife like, 'Are you just a little overdressed' No, she's just gorgeous.
On the way out of church the Holywife was ahead of me. As she started through a door, well there it was, and it was just reflex. I swatted her on the butt. Maybe my hand was cupped just right, maybe all the glass acted as an amplifier, but it was a loud swat. I didn't even think of it though. On the way to the van the Holywife informed me that swatting her on the butt was improper conduct in church.
While I could see her point, the problem was that I could also see her butt. It seems to me that unless she wants to wear a burqha it's just a risk we have to live with. I'm nuts about her, so stone me.
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Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
3/704
Went to church then had to decide where to eat. You wouldn?t think that would be that big of a deal but it was. Usually we eat at Hy-Vee and that was Ms. Pikachu's choice. Trainboy wanted a change. Trainboy wanted Arby's. Eventually we settled on a little Italian place where both kids would be content to suck noodles. But I forgot.
Rewinding to church. The Holywife looked fantastic. She wore a black suit with a white blouse. I couldn't help but notice another woman who always dresses very nicely looking at the Superwife like, 'Are you just a little overdressed' No, she's just gorgeous.
On the way out of church the Holywife was ahead of me. As she started through a door, well there it was, and it was just reflex. I swatted her on the butt. Maybe my hand was cupped just right, maybe all the glass acted as an amplifier, but it was a loud swat. I didn't even think of it though. On the way to the van the Holywife informed me that swatting her on the butt was improper conduct in church.
While I could see her point, the problem was that I could also see her butt. It seems to me that unless she wants to wear a burqha it's just a risk we have to live with. I'm nuts about her, so stone me.
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Monday, March 08, 2004
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
For those of us who keep our radios set to oldie stations we must remark regarding two birthdays. Today’s is Mark Lindsay’s, he of Paul Revere and the Raiders Fame. Yesterday’s was Mickey Dolenz’ who is now 59. If you didn’t know he was drummer/singer for the Monkees, well now you know.
I know what you’re thinking, not because of any god-like powers, just because it’s reflex. You’re thinking, “Holy Jeebus, they’re almost ready for Social Security. Except they raised the retirement age, those Congressional SOB’s.” But you’ve only got about a third of that right.
Firstly, yes, they’re about Social Security age. Secondly, what Congress raised, by dare I say it, “notches,” is the age to get 100 percent thereby lowering the percentage you get at earlier ages. Retirees can still retire at 62. You can go to the SSA website and check it out here. Thirdly, yes, they are SOB’s.
"Fourthly, Dear God has it been that long since your last post? I thought you were going to catch up." Yeah, me too, but the pills put me right to sleep. But I'll try to do better. It always surprises me how much fun I have doing this when I'm not in a stupor. It's almost 2 in the morning though, and I'm doing this after falling asleep earlier.
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Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
For those of us who keep our radios set to oldie stations we must remark regarding two birthdays. Today’s is Mark Lindsay’s, he of Paul Revere and the Raiders Fame. Yesterday’s was Mickey Dolenz’ who is now 59. If you didn’t know he was drummer/singer for the Monkees, well now you know.
I know what you’re thinking, not because of any god-like powers, just because it’s reflex. You’re thinking, “Holy Jeebus, they’re almost ready for Social Security. Except they raised the retirement age, those Congressional SOB’s.” But you’ve only got about a third of that right.
Firstly, yes, they’re about Social Security age. Secondly, what Congress raised, by dare I say it, “notches,” is the age to get 100 percent thereby lowering the percentage you get at earlier ages. Retirees can still retire at 62. You can go to the SSA website and check it out here. Thirdly, yes, they are SOB’s.
"Fourthly, Dear God has it been that long since your last post? I thought you were going to catch up." Yeah, me too, but the pills put me right to sleep. But I'll try to do better. It always surprises me how much fun I have doing this when I'm not in a stupor. It's almost 2 in the morning though, and I'm doing this after falling asleep earlier.
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