http://publicserf.blogspot.com
e-mail comments to: publicserf@yahoo.com
------------------------1ST POST------------------------1ST POST-------------------1ST POST---------------
Sorry, there was no post last night. My body's need for sleep overcame my ego's need for gratification. But you can always click on the "Archives" button at the bottom and read prior stuff. Sorry, but it's the best I can do today. Will try again tonight.

the publicserf
But wait, more wisdom handed down by the WebGod. I learn so much.

"You just need to lift it out of the
mundane by adding maybe one sparkling detail, like...

on the way home. Handed out blotter acid to the kids. Ate and
fell asleep."

For more such commentary go to his site, he's the link over on the right. Rons Log. Click on it and be shocked and amused.l



------------------2ND POST---------------2ND POST----------------------2ND POST---------------------------
So what happened yesterday? I'm almost glad you asked.

When I got home SuperNurse informed me she needed to get some Continuing Education Units done to maintain her nursing license. OK, keep talking. In our fair state she can now be relicensed online by taking online courses. Which makes sense, it would save the licensing agency a mountain of paperwork. Belated Welcome to the New Millenium! And good for her, because that means she can just do it all at home.

Of course that also means, a nurse can maintain her license using the equivalent of crib notes if she wants to. It would make you want to watch things real close in the hospital. But SuperNurse does not cheat. She does not have to, she is (trumpet fanfare) SuperNurse! "Hey!" you say, "Cut the crap, what does this mean to me?" Implying then, what does it mean to me? as in, me.

Well I'll tell you, because you asked. SuperNurse informed me that although her recertification can be done online she has to print paper certifications of every course she takes in case she's audited. Our printer doesn't work. It hasn't since I installed XP, neither has the scanner. XP drivers were ordered from UMAX for the scanner. It still doesn't work. Canon has never made drivers for the 5000 color printer. I sent them an e-mail once telling them if they weren't going to do XP drivers for something they should at least post that fact so people wouldn't sit around waiting. It seemed like a reasonable idea, apparently they didn't think so.

Uninstalling XP isn't going to happen. I like it too much. It doesn't crash like Win95 or 98 did. Also, the printer had been giving me headaches. So forget it. One might think the obvious solution would be to just buy a new printer. You might, but you are not married to SuperNurse. I am, and the problem is that Super Nurse's alter ego is CheapWife. She whose motto is, "Is this the best use of our money?" Up until now it had not been. But when I got home she told me of her inability to print her certificates, and she didn't know what was wrong.

So I told her in as lovingly a fashion as possible (and never said, "one more time") the printer does not work in XP. I could uninstall XP, but then it would crash and you would be staring at the blue screen of death, and the printer will only print in black and white and I'm tired of buying expensive color cartridges that may, or may not, fix the problem. She said, "OK, let's go out and buy one. But first I want the back yard mowed." The only thing worse than being whipped is not knowing you're whipped. I know I'm whipped, so it could always be worse. I'm happy. Because sometimes it's the little things.

And I was happier knowing a new printer was soon to be mine, "Come to papa!"

So, I went out back to mow the lawn. It hadn't been mowed yet this year because non-rain days didn't seem to coincide with free time. Normally, that wouldn't be a big thing, But with all the rain the grass had grown phenomenally. As I surveyed the job it was apparent it wasn't a back yard so much as it was a private prairie. I thought, this doesn't call for a lawnmower, this calls for a tractor with a BushHog. But no way could I rent a tractor, because there's no way to get one in the backyard without dismantling some privacy fence. That would upset CheapWife, and mean the delaying of my new printer. Papa's comming!

The mower was plugged in, because it's electric. Though that's probably obvious. It's worked fine for years, no complaints. However, it really slows things down if you run over the power cord. But I was carefull. And it was slow going. It kept clogging. The grass was so long it never dried out. Long, wet, grass. Anyone who has ever mowed a lawn knows that's not a good thing. It is mower's hell. Perhaps it was penance for printer lust, if you see God, ask him for me.

After the equivalent of mowing it all twice it was done. Had it only been done once it would have looked like mowing by weed-whacker. Away we went, stat!, searching for the Prodigal Printer we'd never known. We searched at Best Buy, not because it was, it wasn't. Sam's Club was $20 cheaper. How did I know this, because I'd scoped them out on the web before, hence the aforesaid penance. CheapWife didn't care about the $20, she wanted a printer. So, being the devious serf that I am, we are now the proud parents of an HP 2110 printer/scanner/copier. She got her printer, and I got a scanner too.

So what is the moral of the story? For every story must have one. I believe it means, that much friction can be avoided if you're willing to delay your own gratification until your spouse's needs coincide with your own. (No KY jokes offerred, but if you must, go ahead.) In this instance there is the added joy of knowing that when we look over the credit card statement I'll get to say, sotto voce, "Oh, there's your printer." More penance will be due. Considering how tight she is with God, it could be a real problem. Maybe SHE knows.

I know, I know, we should have gotten home by 9:30, so why no post yesterday? A pit bull you are, and an ungrateful one at that.

Well I might be devious, but I'm not clever. I thought I had an extra USB cable, and didn't bother to look. No cable. So after doing a few "family" things in general, and keeping TrainBoy company till he fell asleep in particular, it was off to SuperWalMart. You can damn that place for destroying the business districts of small towns and downtown, but when you need a USB cable in the middle of the night, you're happy it's there. Pick up a few other things, hand your money over to the friendly employee of the Mall Killer. And there was heard in the land the sucking sound of my money on it's way to Bentonville, Arkansas.

On the way home I realized I was more than a little hungry. I was manly hungry (another joke break for you, go ahead, I'll wait). So I stopped at Wendy's on the way home. And say what you will about them, and their kind, killing off the local eating establishments, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I took it home, ate, and fell asleep so fast my mind has no recollection. One moment I was gathering together the trash, the next, no recollection. On, off. Kind of spooky really. Almost supernatural. But sleep is just a gift I have. Slept till morning, no post, but you knew that. Sometimes it goes without saying, yet it still has to be said.

Installed the printer before going to work. Came home to a happy wife. And kids running around with handfuls of their latest prints. Thank God I didn't put the photo quality cartridge in. Or I could just tell the Wife and She could pass it on, She has a better connection.

So much for today/tonight. Tomorrow is.... tomorrow/tomorrow night.
How utterly worthless.

Your publicserf
-----------------3RD POST--------------------3RD POST-----------------------3RD POST------------------
This instruction no longer applies since I rearranged the posts so they flow straight, but it's still here because I like it.
This is the third post of the day. Go down two more to "5/7/2003 7:38:24 a.m." and work back. To do otherwise will upset the natural order of things, and Maureen Dowd will try to fill up a bus full of people who hate you. Then they will park the bus in front of your place, glare, have their pictures taken, and leave. Stop quivering and go. Just go.

While getting some clothes out of the dryer it occurred to me that while I'd caught up with the prior days posts, I still owed a post for that day. And so it would go into perpetuity, accumulating hellish interest, if I didn't get caught up. What to do, what to do. So I'm back to get even. It may be attempting a fool's double-or-nothing, or as they say in Vegas, "Bill Bennett."

Alright, you caught me. I was trying to draw your attention away from that "dryer" statement, but you could smell blood. And a ruthless rottweiler you are. You snarl. Let me explain. When SuperNurse had our first child the increased demands on her caused increases in stress that were almost exponential. It seemed only fair that I do more than offer to change the channel with the remote control. So I took it upon myself to do the laundry. Just never gotten out of the habit. Do it rather well, if I do say so myself. Whipped! you cry. What's new? says I. And we'll move on.

Since I've done family already today........news this time.

Front page: Eustachy resigns as basketball coach at Iowa State after being caught drinking and cavorting, sometimes both at the same time. In exchange for his resignation Iowa State University will pay him 1 million buckolas. And the moral of that story is- if you must drink and cavort, check the severance package first, and if you can, buy everybody a round. His wife looks tearful in the picture. Some people get that way when they win the lottery.

Page 3, an AP photo of Iraqi mystic men praying in public. "Chanting, twirling their hair, and moving their bodies rhythmically in Baghdad"
From the picture it just looks like bad drugs, or good drugs, depending on perspective. Looks like guys having such a bad hair day its painful. I'm gonna have to guess blotter acid. But it's just a guess, because blotter acid is the only drug I know of that sounds funny.

Also on page 3, unsealed transcripts reveal Joseph McCarthy to be a bully who always ran away from a fair fight. Hold me up, I'm going to faint. What I want to know is- why now? The hearings were 48, 49 years ago. Why is it relevant to make a deal of this. I think we all agree his hearings were a bad thing, bad. Is it any coincidence this crap comes out after the US kicks a nasty dictator out of office and the bad guys are shaking in their boots? It just seems like an attempt to knock Uncle Sam down to where some people believe he belongs by reliving past injustices. Screw that. Let the bad guys shake. Let the weasels worry.

Nothing else much in the front section. Perhaps most notable was a lack of stories re the war with Iraq. Just the picture and a story about the Baghdad airport reopening. Apparently they're not having much luck finding Coalition atrocities. Not that the Iraq thing is over yet. It's a country that still needs to be brought up to 20th century standards. Our boys are working on it. I predict, I predict the war won't be truly finished until Iraqi's can't travel more than twenty minutes without running into another cluster of Wendys/BurgerKing/McDonalds and people start bitching you can't tell Baghdad from Basra anymore. At that point the mullahs can retire to whipping each other.

Section E. recipes, vegetable advice. Where's the bikinis? On the front page it promised bikinis in Section E. It did. There was even a small picture of a blond in an orange bikini. Not my choice of colors, but nobody asked me. What is going on here? I don't want greenbean advice, I want bikinis. What kind of a screw-up is this? Ohmigod, I've been looking at yesterday's paper- notnew news. It doesn't matter, a post is a post. And we're still even says I. But where is that Section E?

And here is is, seemingly hidden beneath some other papers. Suspicious. The babes in bikinis look.... tasty. Can't look too long though. A wife will bust you every time. It's like they always know when you're thinking of it, maybe because you always are. But......the more you look at the bikinis the more you see how young they are, I could be their Dad. That so ruins it. Crap. I'm in that awkward middle age, trapped between girls who are too young, and those in support hose. Trapped with the gorgeous SuperNurse. It could be worse.

This could be over, and it is,
The Publicserf