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-Ms. Pikachu is one of those kids that always wants a pet. She’s had fish, gerbils and others no longer in memory. She currently has guinea pigs. Note the plural, for therein lies a cautionary tale. To start she had one pig, a female.

Trainboy’s class had a guinea pig, and they needed someone to take care of it over a holiday break. Trainboy volunteered. No problem, it was just one more pig. The pig was named Buddy. Not too surprisingly, Buddy was a male. The farther down the food chain something is, the more fertile. We didn’t want an exciting new career in rodent breeding. What to do, what to do. We got another bin to put Buddy in. Ms. Pikachu was instructed to never put Buddy in with her pig. Buddy survived the holiday just fine and was returned to his home at school.

A few weeks later Ms. piggy was noticeably plumper. Surely she was just eating too well. As if. Ms. Pikachu admitted that one day Buddy looked lonely, so she put him in with Ms. Piggy, and the rest was biology 101. Fortunately, they’re cute pets. When held they purr, and they chirp, it’s almost a Cardinal's whistle. Unlike gerbils, they never try to escape. Our indiscrete piggy had five more, a sixth didn’t make it. Trainboy was upset for a few days over the loss of one of Buddy’s offspring.

Lot’s of Ms. Pikachu’s friends said they wanted one. Apparently their parents begged to differ. Perhaps they feared an exciting new career in rodent farming also. One of them was taken by a cousin, leaving us with Ma Piggy and four more. At least we had the extra bin for when they got older.

I’m not big on having pets in the house, but the critters are definitely cute, and demanding. If they see you they start to whistle for food or water. The wife started responding to it first, they got her trained pretty well. Now just to get some quiet, when I get home I rip up a few handfuls of plaintains and dandelions. The lawn will probably be cleared of weeds by summer's end. I walk in the door, they start to chirp, they get their fresh greens. I’m sure they’re impressed with the service and think I'm better trained than the wife. Not so. Service is my life.

Publicserf