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HodgePodge for $50.

A little bit ago Trainboy announced that he'd farted in the bathtub. It must have been important to him. Thanks for sharing.

When we were getting groceries he pointed at a garlic press and informed us, "Those are levers." He was right. Not bad for 6.

Ms. Pikachu was the only student to attend all the scheduled summer flute lessons. No bonus, award, or mention in the newspaper. She was robbed! Certainly the instructor can see that either Ms. Pikachu is a serious student, or she has a serious mother. It's the mother.

It seems to me the human body needs 'x' amount of sleep per day. Deprive it of sleep and sooner or later it will get it back. The debt accumulates. Stay up too late too often and you risk a premature burial. Fortunately for me, I'm married to the SuperNurse/HolyWife. I'm not dead till I miss church. You, on the other hand, had better get your sleep.

I don't care for the current fashionable pants that are halfway up the calf. Every time I seem them I think, "Big rain forecast?" The worst are the mid-calf pants with bell-bottoms. Good God, is it just a test to see who will wear anything if it's declared fashion? They scream, "I am clueless, I am pliable!" Either that or, "I've grown eight inches and vomit so much I haven't put on a pound." I try to convince myself these capri/clamdigger/flood pants have an upside- they show a little leg. But they don't work for me, it's not enough leg. So greedy, and I'm comfortable with that.

There you have it- nothing is too petty for me to bitch about. My feminine side is a real bitch.

Living in the 'hood you can see every variation on current fashion by just sitting on the porch and watching the local posers pass by. Sometimes it isn't pretty. A couple days ago a fellow walked by with his shirt just on his arms. It was as though he'd started to put his T-shirt on and decided, "no, I ain't going to put my head through the hole like everybody else. I'll wear it like this to be different, maybe attract a fine babe or three, and I'll still have it handy to pull on if I want to go into a store and buy beer." It wasn't hot outside. It was fashion genius. He was the day's King Poser in a kingdom of posers.

To save some of these posers the mental challenge of coming up with a new way of being special, how about these:
-shave your face, but let the neck grow
-cut gaps into your eyelashes
-when that gets tired cut matching gaps into your eyebrows
-grow long temple locks like an orthodox Jew, and shave the rest of your head
-wear a diaper on your head, it gives you that paternal look chicks dig
You say those are stupid ideas? well yeah. But they're different, apparently that's all that counts, and that's all that was promised.

But on the topic of 'things chicks dig-' what is it with women getting excited when men growl? You remember the Ohio Players? There was one guy who had his fro' over one eye and ended every phrase with "ow." You'd think breathing hurt. But every time he went "ow" women screamed, you could almost hear the eggs splash. All those eggs splashed like rain- really appropriate when they did "Fire."

On Star Trek the Klingons are the personification of males' aggressive tendencies. But all the growling they do for foreplay is just their Phil Donahue touchy-feely give-the-women-what-they-want side. They'd rather have a beer and a woman who's instant-on. Yes, behind those tribe-of-linebacker facades they're just guys in need of plastic surgery and comfortable clothes.

The wife ironed my shirts last night. She said she'd ironed the church baptism robes and just decided to do my shirts while the iron was hot. Was I going to argue? That would be a "no." It was strange, but I took it as a sign she loves me, for whatever reason.

I had to take the Intrepid to the mechanic because the air conditioner wasn't conditioning. It was just recharged a month ago. He did his thing, and we went to Wally World for more stuff. When we picked the car up he informed me the evaporator has a leak, fixing it would run around $1,000. He recharged it, and charged me half the usual price. He said at least we'd be cool through the weekend. Two Dodges, one without air, one losing it. Why can't Dodge make an air conditioner that lasts? It's enough to make me buy...... something else. Something stylin', somethin' swervy', sumpin' growly.
Maybe a Ford.

That will close out Hodgepodge for today.
The wife/editor has informed me this post wasn't funny, but that it doesn't have to be.
Oh well.

Just a disclaimer: I don't really care what women wear, the wife keeps my opinion from mattering anyway. Ladies, if you want to wear capri pants that's your decision, go ahead. Don't be dissuaded by what other people think, that's just a different herd-think. They're probably comfortable and cool, form should follow function. Just don't wear them in an Islamic theocracy. But I still think bell-bottoms that are mid-calf are senseless. And my opinion still doesn't matter here, or in Paris.

If that isn't enough butt-kissing let me know.
Publicserf



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