We went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. As we entered the shrine to the twin gods Capitalism and Conspicuous Consumption we could not help but notice the latest writing on the wall- the school supply lists were in. It was decided that as long as we were there we might as well get it over with. My hopes for a surgical shopping strike evaporated like the proverbial snowball. Didn’t even melt, just gone.

Trainboy’s list for kindergarten was fairly short. I had it all within five minutes. The older the kids are the longer their lists. Ms. Pikachu must be closer to adulthood than I realize, either that or her list was put together by a teacher still young enough to have grand dreams. It was a grand list- a list suitable for an all-night scavenger hunt. A list of Homeric proportions, a list worthy of a Greek chorus supplying commentary on the search.

Some years we wander from store to store like the Lost Tribe looking for the Holy Grail. That wasn’t the problem though. We were beating the rush. It was one-stop shopping; there was no need to go anywhere else. The problem was the choices. Need a ruler? Will that be plain plastic, or should it have templates, or should it roll up, or should it fold up, should it light up? And after deciding on the model, which color? Hmmmm, light or dark?

Folders, colors, markers, pencils, pens, organizers, on and on it went. It was a creative retentive’s dream come true. The kids could almost be guaranteed to be happy. The parents could almost be guaranteed to finish so tired a good nights sleep would be their reward, unless they dreamed of overwhelming school supplies that were suffocating in number.

She needed a basic calculator, nothing fancy schmancy. That was a problem, because all the calculators in school supplies were much more sophisticated. It was amazing- for $10 you can get a calculator better than one that cost over $150 just… 25 years ago. Time flies and so does technology.

I wandered off to Electronics to find a cruder calculator, and found a mind-blowing solution. They have a basic, palm-size calculator in a variety of designer colors. I guessed purple. It cost 99 cents. How do they do that? Make parts, assemble parts, ship from China, sell it for under a buck and everybody still makes a profit. It seems beyond belief.

When I returned to the hunting party with the purple wonder Ms. Pikachu declared it just what she wanted. Even Frugalwife was impressed. Points for me. As Ms. Pikachu continued her deliberations the Frugalwife and I indulged in a little supply-side envy.

Rulers that fold up with a hinge every inch, protractors that light up when pressed- there was a lot of cool stuff. When we were in high school you had to buy a book of tables to be able to do trig problems. For $10 you can have a calculator that displays the solution as fast as you can key in the problem.

Superwife noticed they did not have the erasers that are half pink and half white. Ms. Pikachu will have to rough it with an all-pink one. Someday she’ll tell her kids about it.

While Ms. Pikachu and Supermom agonized over another choice, Trainboy asked me if he could get a toy. Why not? As we headed back to the toys he took my hand. I love that; every clasp is a golden moment. He asked, “Dad, do you love me?” How many times have I told him? How many more have I shown it? But at that moment he just needed to hear it again.

So I told him, “Yes, I love you.” Quoting from ‘Lovable Lyle’ I said, “Sometimes I love you so much I can hardly stand it.” He smiled and replied, “I love you too. It makes me happy.” I was pretty happy myself. It was a golden moment gilded.

It’s hard to say “no” after a moment like that. He didn’t try to capitalize on it though. He picked out a small set of transforming toys- it cost all of about $6.00. Trainboy asked if it was okay. I granted his boon and we headed back to find Ms. Pikachu and Supermom. After we picked up a few more things it was time to go home, happy, but tired.

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