6/26
Saturday was the Quad-City airshow. It was nice to have my sister, the Bummer, there. We arrived about the time it started so we just sat down and watched it.
It was hot, and there really isn't any shade on an airfield, so... we sat under the wing of an AirForce transport. I was happy for the shade, so I had no problem at all buying one of the t-shirts they were selling.

Up to now the airshow always had a military team fly- Blue Angels, Thunderbirds, or Snowbirds. I've seen the first two so many times I hardly care, but not having one of the big teams there was kind of a letdown anyway. But there were lots of parachutists.

After the show was done I thought I'd finally get to walk down the flight line and look at the warbirds. Super Wife said she was tired and it was time to go. So between the show not being particularly exciting and not getting to look at the warbirds up close I was disappointed.

I was disappointed, but not the kids. While I had watched the show Super Wife took Train Boy to the kids area. He got to play on some of the kids stuff and climb on a tank. Yes, even the Army is represented at the airshow. Ms. Pikachu asked me for a couple bucks to get something- all I had were twenties. She was comfortable with that. She and her cousin, Jessica, took off and they were a couple of giggly girls.

Afterwards we ate at Cracker Barrel. I like eating there. The Super Wife likes eating there. We wanted to eat there. Ms. Pikachu complained. We asked her why she objected to eating at Cracker Barrel. She said she'd once had a bad experience with their mashed potatoes. Too bad, you can try them again. Maybe it was a fluke. She had no further complaints, but that is not to say she was quiet. She's never quiet.

6/23
Super Wife and I put up the basketball hoop. Train Boy came out to help so we had him turn nuts that were easier for him to reach. When it was done we had him squirt water into the base, and he was very precise about the amount he put in. It seemed like there should have been enough water in the base, but he said, "I need to count to twenty." So the base has enough, plus twenty seconds, of water. It should never fall over. I was sure we were wasting our time putting it up anyway though. Of course as soon as it was up the kids were only too happy to shoot baskets.

Then we went to Target and Ms. Pikachu went manic again. It's funny for awhile, then it gets tiring. Eventually she smiled and said, "Dad, did you know that when you're annoyed your voice gets deeper and you talk slower?" Good for another laugh, but I'd had enough. I said I would wait for them in the van. She followed me for a ways and kept begging, "Come on Dad, pull my finger! Well, won't you at least smell my thumb?" (She'd been trying on shoes) She's just nuts, and a lot of fun, but sometimes I've just had enough.

6/21
Last night the the combination of carbohydrates I ate and the meds put me right to sleep. I never made it out to look at digital cameras, never got on the computer, didn't get Patricia's basketball hoop up either. I just slept. It was raining cats and dogs so it really didn't matter anyway.

When I woke up this morning everyone was still sleeping. Going upstairs on the creaky steps might have woken everybody up, so I stayed downstairs. I had a quick bowl of cereal and went to work, still wearing yesterday's clothes. It's hard to tell if anyone else can tell, and sometimes I don't want to know. That was as close as I get to living on the wild side.

The procedure went surprisingly well. And I did sleep a lot. Anybody that knows me knows that for a few years the facial pain prevented me from laying down- I had to sleep sitting up. Once you get used to that you can sleep in any position. The Valium enhanced my sleeping abilities, as if I needed the help.

The halo was held in the back by two bolts pressing very hard against my skull. Sitting in the waiting room I was still able to lean back against the wall and sleep. Yes, I was given shots to numb the areas around the bolts, but it was really weird to lean back and feel the bolts. Not that it mattered, I slept. During the procedure, I slept. I cannot help but think that two Valium is one two much.

I also wonder why people even want it. Nothing happened while I was under the affects of Valium that made me think, “Whoa, I’ve got to do this again!” Maybe it works differently for other people, I dunno. My gut feeling is that I just don’t have what it takes to be a drug addict.

The procedure itself was nothing dramatic. I lay down on a table and my halo was locked into place. From the neck down I could have done a horizontal hula, but the head wasn’t going to move a millimeter until it was over. All the medical people left the room and then a device that looked like a gray-colored plate went back and forth over my head. Back and forth, back and forth, you are beginning to get sleepy, very sleepy. You have already slept half the day away but you will still take another nap. Nobody said they needed me conscious.

When it was done the Super Wife walked me to our car parked at the curb right outside the radiology unit. We had parked on the ramp, so I was confused. She explained that she’d found out radiology patients could get a sign that would let them park there. Cool.

This is being posted too long after the surgery I know, I happen to be doing it now because I was doing so well I started to cut back on the medications I was taking. It seemed like a good idea. Today the nerve let me know it wasn’t ready for it.

I took two pills in church, like always, to be ready for lunch, just in case. But apparently my Tegretol level has dropped too far for that to work. It must have taken at least 20 minutes to eat a hamburger. It was not fun. It was too much like old times.

I’ve been taking more meds today, but it’s not working yet. I’m typing this at 4:30 a.m. because around 3:00 a.m. it gave me a slap that was nasty enough to wake me up and bring back the fear. I took some more pills and hopefully I can still get some sleep. God I hate this, just when I thought it was over it slams me again.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

We got to the U of Ia bright and early. The NASCAR Wife put on a fine display. I think she blew the doors off a doctor in his Porsche. What a thrill, I was hoping she didn't get me killed before the procedure. They duelled up the road and she trapped him behind a dump truck, traffic did the rest.

I was given valium to help me sleep, imagine that. They put the halo on while I was basically out of it. Everybody says the guy who did it was quite sociable, I have to take their word for it. Again, I was just conscious enough to say, "THAT ONE HURTS."

To clear up any misconceptions- the halo wasn't really a halo. I thought they'd put a halo on and I'd get to start crossing and blessing people, it's not like that. It's more like the frame for a football helmet. If that sounds weird it's because it is.

After the halo was on they fed me breakfast/lunch. I love this place. Then I napped for three hours or so. When I woke up the wife told me, "there's a computer over there, you could send and check e-mail." I can't do much though, to type I have to close my right eye and that's a pain in the butt. That's just a figure of speech.

I just scratched my head and my head is still numb, that's almost interesting. I think I'll go take another nap.

On the one hand I hope the procedure works, on the other hand... I hope the procedure works. If at any time I start smelling bacon I'm going to push the panic button, because I am NOT the other white meat.

Vhttp://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

06/04/05
Around noon Train Boy asked me if we could make a model. “Dad could we go downstairs and pick out a model?” Not “Could we go to a store and get a model” but, “Could we go downstairs and pick out a model.” His little question lets you know I’ve got quite a stock of them. I have a wall of them actually.

I was delighted he’d asked, and hoped I’d be able to help him build one with my impaired vision. He passed on all the big kits; he knew they were too much to do. “How about those models?” Tanks. Possible, but a little involved. How about one of these SnapTite kits? They don’t require any glue or painting. I’ve got a Stealth Bomber and a Wart Hog in SnapTite. A-10 Wart Hog it is.

I showed him how the instructions progressed and tried to let him do as much as possible. Around 1:30 he pronounced, “It’s starting to look like an airplane and it isn’t even dark yet.” He was happy, I was happy. Until the snag.

He was trying to put on a bomb and broke the mount. It wasn’t surprising, they can be hard to do. He was so frustrated he walked off. I told him I’d glue it and do the rest of the bombs for him.

The Super Mom looked at the box and said “Hey, the box says ‘For 8 and up’ so you were doing pretty good.” She’s a wonderful woman. Then I broke a bomb myself, and it was more for him to feel better about. I got them glued in my cross-eyed way and laid the plane on it’s back. I sat on the couch while I waited for the glue to dry and fell asleep. When I woke up Super Nurse had left for work, and Train Boy had finished his model. Good for him.

Later in the evening I asked him if he was hungry. “A little bit.” Then what would you like? “I don’t know, let’s check out the kitchen.” The older he gets the more he sounds like his older sister.

His favorite, Ramen Noodles, are out of stock. How about other soups? No. How about Easy Mac? We have a winner. The only thing I do better than the Super Mom is Easy Mac. I always make it with milk.

Then it’s Mucha Lucha on the Cartoon Network and time for bed.


http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

06/03/04
I am always willing to waste my time. The wife is not so willing. Today looked to me like another fine day to watch TV. She declared it was a perfect day to take a walk. She just has a need to do something healthy or ‘familyish.’

So we loaded everybody into the van- her, her sister, five kids, and me. I’m sure we were illegal, but we were bonding. On the drive to the park it felt a little cool, but that was okay, walking would be slower and warmer.

When we got to the park the first thing we did was walk through the non-petting, non-feeding, petting zoo. The kids were happy to look at the duck, chickens, pigs, donkeys, am I leaving any out? In a very short amount of time they learned the differences in how their droppings smell, and perhaps, why chicken doesn’t taste like hamburger.

When we got to the trail area Ms. Pikachu ran back to me, and with a smile, reached for my wrist and said, “Let me help you Dad.” Nothing like treating me like an old man, she was having too much fun.

Of course, once we got on a trail it was like being in a jungle. There was very little air movement. Nobody else seemed affected. Perhaps the difference was I was wearing cargo pants, and a vest over my shirt, hmm, could be. Sweat poured off me like I was in a sauna, but everybody else seemed fine. If I ever do a list of life’s rules, one of them will be, “There’s never a water-filled cactus around when you need one.”

Of course, another little problem I had was that being cross-eyed my depth perception is lousy. Walking a trail with it's ruts and roots is a royal pain.

Eventually we escaped our bonding experience. Everyone else seemed happy and
bonded. I just wanted water, and some quality time in an air-conditioned environment. When we got home I drank all the water I wanted to, and the Super Nurse put an ice pack at the base of my neck- very effective.

The rest of my day was spent in front of the TV- what a waste.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

Did the U of Ia thing. The radiologist things the gamma knife is a go. So on June 8, I report back to have it done. I hope it works. If it does I can stop taking all the medication to stop the pain, and I won’t be dizzy from the side effects. Hopefully, the ear noises will stop too. That still doesn’t get me my right eye back though.

The Super Nurse thinks a muscle can be shortened to deal with it. We’ll see.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/26
We went to the circus. Originally we had first-row tickets. However, the Super Wife came to realize that Ms. Pikachu had a band concert at the same time, so she exchanged them for the next day and it cost us, whoa, whoa, yea, it cost us- third row.

We got there shortly after it started, what else did you expect? There were people occupying our seats. Since they were sure they belonged there, some variant of squatter’s rights apparently, we had an usher…usher them.

The Home Town Edition of the Greatest Show On Earth is a one-ring show. That’s okay really. The three-ring editions can be a little overwhelming. There were the mandatory elephants, horses, trapeze artists, clowns, and dogs.

There was a strength act named, amazingly enough, ‘Hercules.’ Strength acts never get me to excited, but they seem to be a great hit with guys whose greatest acclamation is “four-wheelin’ man!’ Or maybe it was his two cute assistants with their skirts slit up to there. I did my best to remain gentlemanly.

Hercules did have some audience participation. One of the guys out of the audience was first made to stand in front of a cannon before it fired, as though he was going to catch the cannon ball. I thought he could have had a little fun with it, turned sideways, and opened his mouth as though he could catch a cannon ball in his teeth.

The kids had popcorn and snowcones. Right there you know it was a successful show. Afterwards I asked the kids what they liked the most. The dogs. All the money put into that show and the kids still love the dogs. At least there are adults there that took the kids that go, “Now there’s some overhead.” Which is to say the real talent is screwed, but that’s nothing new.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/24/04
It is 5:30 in the morning and I can’t go to sleep, might as well blog and catch up a little. Talk about bad habits. Bad habits, and my hands shake when I type. It’s a side-effect of the meds. Thank God for spell-checkers and a wife that doesn’t mind proofing.

7:30
The wife asks if I was up all night. No I wasn’t, I went to bed, tossed and turned, groped her a little, gave up and got out of bed. I did not tell her the part about groping. She then asks, “Is it possible you’ve gotten your days and nights switched around?” Maybe, and is it possible you’ve gotten your groped and not-groped switched around? You don’t seem to remember.

I’ve done a few posts for the last few days.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

For 5/23
Yesterday, that would be Sunday 05/23, I did not wear a shirt to church, I wore a sweater because it was rather cool. As we walked towards church Ms. Pikachu said, “Pretty spiffy sweater dad.” After we sat down in a pew she leaned over, brushed her cheek on my shoulder and said, “It feels pretty spiffy too.” The day’s Secret Word was obviously ‘spiffy.’

After the service, when we got back to the van she said, “You look pretty spiffy for a guy over 40 dad.” “But you are working on that bald spot and your hair is getting thin.” We picked up some Chinese to bring home. As we got it ready she brushed her nose against my sleave and said, “There’s nothing better for wiping your nose in a hurry than your Dad’s sweater.” She enjoys tormenting me.

Meds had me tired so driving back to visit the cousins wasn’t an option. I slept all day. Train Boy woke me up around 6:00 and said he wanted a hot dog. Well that much I can do. Nuke ‘em and puke ‘em. Ms. Pikachu apparently took care of herself. I fell back asleep. That may explain why it’s 5:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/22 Saturday
Another big storm passed through. The kids did not want to drive back to see their cousins if that meant me driving through the storm. I don’t know what their problem was. Dad is cross-eyed. Driving back would be blinding glare. It could be harrowing past experience. It could be we’re raising kids smart enough to survive.

The Super Wife informed me there was water in the basement from yesterday’s storm, and that we need a dehumidifier. We had one before. It lasted about ten years. If you ever get water in your basement- you need one. We hadn’t had water in the basement since we put tubes on the downspouts to lead the water further away from the house. That is neither here nor there; we need another dehumidifier NOW.

Wal-Mart would surely have them, so would Super-Target. Instead I went to K-Mart, they need the business. This makes me wonder if mercy-shopping is any kind of a trend. They had two- a smaller one, and another that seemed to move about twice as much air for another $20. I love easy decisions.

In its big, bulky box it weighed at least 35 pounds. I carried it until I picked up a few more things. Then it was apparent I really should have gotten a cart. I can’t explain why, but I’m quite averse to getting a shopping cart, it’s like a sign of weakness to me. So there I was- dragging this box with my right hand and clasping a few other things under my left arm, looking like I should be yelling “Sanctuary, Sanctuary!” Despite my horrific appearance the checker was cordial.

To tell you the truth, I wanted an I-Cee. K-Mart has that I-Cee machine as you go out, and I wanted one. All I had to do was walk over and get a cart to carry all the stuff. I could not. Don’t ask me why, I just could not. You could ask, just because you’re as obnoxious as a twelve year-old daughter, “You’re too shy to get a shopping cart?” Let’s not go there. You could persist, “You’re too vain to get a shopping card?” Dear God when will the torment end? Is it not enough that I did not get my I-Cee?

Got it home, unpacked it, plugged it in, and it has been doing a fine job. Which just goes to show that China gets some good work out of their prisoners, and there’s no reason we can’t do just as well. I feel another blog coming on. I should satisfy some I-Cee cravings first. There’s a gas station not a half-mile away that satisfies the needs of the weak-willed.

Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/20 Thursday
The planter needs some plants, so after the kids got home we went to Home Depot and picked up some plants and some other… homey stuff. The kids had a lot of fun picking flowers out.

On the way home we stopped at Hy-Vee again and picked up chinese to take home. Trainboy thinks the coolest thing is to get his food out of the little Chinese take-out boxes. Too bad being satisfied with life won’t always be so easy.

The Super Wife said, “Their Chinese is so good you don’t mind eating it two days in a row.” Okay, but let’s not try for three.
.

05/19 Wednesday
Given a choice of things to get for supper the kids decided they wanted Chinese. Alrighty.
Super Mom pointed out to Trainboy they were both wearing the same top, and she was wearing gray shorts while he was wearing gray pants, they almost matched. He was so excited he looked like a drum major running in place. Life is bound to get harder, so take it while you can get it.

05/14
It hit me. It finally hit me. If Trainboy’s knees wouldn’t clear the handlebars- lowering the seat would make no sense because you need to keep a nice extension when pedaling. Raising the handlebar headset could work, but it that failed, just rotating the handlebars upwards would make the most sense. Sometimes my mind is soooooo slow.

So I got out the wrenches again, rotated the handlebars, and it worked great. He is one happy Trainboy. I put the training wheels back on. The sidewalk is so wide open.

Now what do we do with the bike we just bought? It’s a nice bike. The front is suspended and it didn’t cost much. The Thrifty Wife says we shall keep it. SHE HAS SPOKEN.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/13
Went to Wal-Mart to buy Trainboy a new bike. I still can’t believe he needs a new one, he just isn’t that big. The next step up from his little one appears huge- 20 inches. This seems so not right. Not a salesperson around.

I got one down off the rack. Fortunately it had a quick-release seat. Maybe somebody figured out that the one thing that would increase sales was a quick-release seat so you can quickly see if a bike will work. I put the seat as far down as practical and call Trainboy over to try it. Apparently it will work, but I’m still not convinced.

Regardless, it is now time to decide on a color scheme. The Super Mom shows him all the different colors. He is intimidated but decides on a blue and green one.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/12/2004
The Super Mom tried to get Trainboy to ride his bike. His knees kept hitting the handlebars. What can they do but call for Super Dad, disguised as mild-mannered humble dad.

So I got out a wrench and lowered the seat. Didn’t really work. Got out the allen wrenches and raised the handle-bar head. Didn’t really work either. I just can’t believe he’s outgrown that bike already.

Super Wife and I discussed it, it appears we will take a trip to a local purveyor of fine Chinese goods and see what’s available.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/11/04
The Super Wife had to go to the hospital for some additional CEU’s (continuing educational units.) So I walked to Ms. Pikachu’s school to get her myself. On the way home it started to rain. Just before we got home it turned into a downpour. Life could be worse. Life could also be drier.

When we got home I went inside. It seemed the natural thing to do. Ms. Pikachu did not follow. I walked back out on the porch and there she was, under a downspout that sends the water from some of the roof and porch into the driveway. It doesn’t lead all the way to the ground, it just pours it like a waterfall from the roof of the porch onto driveway cement. She was drenched and loving it. I asked her, “Are you happy?” She started singing, “I feel good, duh, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, like I knew that I would…” It was funny, yet strange, to have my 12 year-old daughter answer a question with a James Brown riff. She sang about a verse.

Amused, I went inside because the Super Wife had walked to the hospital and I thought that if she wanted a ride home I’d better be by the phone. I could not just drive over there and wait for her; the place has a dozen doors with a parking garage. If somebody offered her a ride I’d miss her. Depending on the door she used I’d miss her. So I waited by the phone like a good Jewish mother. She got home on her bike. Rather beautiful for being all wet, her, not the bike.

I went to the back door to unlock it and put out some more birdseed. She put her bike away herself because she’s self-sufficient that way. While we were talking Ms. Pikachu came around laughing. She said that she had gone back under the downspout and started singing ‘I Feel Good’ again. Some people walking by gave her the weirdest looks. She loved it. It’s probably not going to get any better.

This evening the Super Wife was bushed. It was decided we’d eat at the little Italian place. On the way we dropped off two garbage bags full of toys at the Salvation Army. Two garbage bags full, and you can hardly see the difference. Somewhere along the way Ms. Pikachu got her hands on a little chicken no wider than a quarter. Size doesn’t matter when a manic attack is coming.

As we sat at our table she went nuts with the chicken. “Help me people, I can’t work this chicken alone.” She knocked the chicken over several times. “Aw, the chicken is narcoleptic.” The chicken is finally knocked upside down. Gravely, “Chicken is dead. When their feet point at the sky you know they’re dead.” She turns chicken upright. “Oh, chicken isn’t dead after all! Chicken, did you see a bright light?” Train Boy replied, "I think it saw a train." He was laughing and couldn’t control his root beer.

The kid gets more mileage out of a couple feathers than anyone I know. She’s just nuts, but it makes for an entertaining evening.
http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

We watched 'Secondhand Lions' with the kids. You get Michael Caine and Robert Duvall as brothers. That's worth watching a viewing right there. Supposedly they're nutty millionaires living in the middle of nowhere Texas, so a lousy mother dumps her son off with them for a few weeks so he can find out where the money is. She tells the brothers they need to show their nephew how to be a man since he doesn't have a father and it will only be for a few weeks. Then she takes off.

Apparently their idea of being a good influence is sitting on their porch with shotguns on their laps and shooting at salesmen. They get a lot of laughs with their shotguns.
And the boy also learns something about what it is to be a man.

It was a good movie. The kids enjoyed it. It wouldn't surprise me if the Super Wife buys it.



http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-

05/10/04
We went to Target with the kids. Some things are absolutely predictable. After getting a few items in Health we continued on to get Ms. Pikachu some art supplies. We did not get past Toys. At least some of us didn’t get past Toys.

Train Boy believes he cannot just walk past a toy section. If he doesn’t get something we have failed to understand that he must get at least one thing anytime he goes through a toy section. Super Wife and Ms. Pikachu continued the long journey to art supplies, I stayed with Train Boy, and can that boy shop. First he checked out all the Hot Wheels, then he checked out all the LEGO’S, then it was Thomas the Tank Engine. That’s all I remember, but I know there was more. I do. I know.

After he made his final decision we headed out for the art supplies like we were driving cows to Abilene. Of course, by the time we got there they were gone. There was no alternative, Mr. Favor and Rowdie Yates hitched up our pants and kept driving all the way to Montana by way of Women’s Wear. And there we found them. It wasn’t long that I knew we should have said, “Meet you at the Target Grill Watering Hole.” Ms. Pikachu was going Trail Happy.

DaaAAaad! was her setup, followed with her fashion punch line. “Dad you wouldn’t believe some of the ugly clothes they’ve got here. This blouse is awful and it looks even worse with this ugly skirt. Here, let me hold them up in front of you. See?” “Dad, this blouse is so busy it makes you look lazy.” “Dad, this would be a two piece top with the skirt, so hold up the under piece for me, would you? Thanks” Super Wife did not help when she said, “That looks good on you.”

“Dad, I’m thinking this hot pink top would look really good with your hula skirt.” She was going blonde manic and loving it. It’s funny how a kid can rob you of any sense of dignity, humiliate you in public, and you don’t mind as long as you’re getting laughs out of it too.



http://publicserf.blogspot.com
Whine at me: publicserf@yahoo.com
-